So, it’s been a pretty awful couple of days. No dehydration issues, thankfully (get better, Diane!) but mostly people issues and man am I reminded that sometimes I hate humans just as much as Klaus does (that’s a terrible thought, let’s move right along.)

Update: I am feeling better. Special shout to Meghan for editing two entries this week as I am catching up with life and by life I mean my job that pays the bills.

Key to Understanding:

Diane – italics

Meghan – regular

—-

Episode 11 – Après Moi, Le Déluge

I’m really excited about this episode. My dear friend Stephanie (who, if you’re reading on my blog, you’ll remember from the Africa post) has become an Originals addict like ourselves and has superseded our knowledge in her quest for shirtless Elijah (do we ever get it? Can we?) All I know about this episode is her all caps frenzied emotions so it bodes well for me tonight.

Oh, interesting. Has the ‘Previously ons’ ever been done by a NON Original? Go ahead, Davina, squeak out.

Just in case you forgot where we left off Tuesday, Hayley attempted to be more than pregnant and instead may have ruined everything by bringing back a crazy witch who may be able to kill little Davina and also get between Hayley and Elijah WAY TO GO, HAYLEY UGH.

Strega. That’s from Vampire Academy, yes? Anyone?

Hayley’s got guilty anime eyes. But apparently she’s told them what’s happened?

Maybe not. Nope, definitely not. Klaus is a little impressed that Elijah’s old bed buddy was this horrid witch lady.

Davina holding the biggest teenage temper tantrum known to man, this is what you have to look forward to, Klaus and Hayley.

Davina, girl, you look how I felt this week.

Despite his anger against all witches everywhere, Klaus is real concerned when our girl Davina (I know she’s not Sophie because I don’t hate her) starts coughing dirt. YOU FIGHT FATHERHOOD KLAUS, BUT IT’S COMING FOR YOU.

Celeste is the root of all evil and this is apparently solidified by Davina who stars choking on dirt(?)

So Davina rocked the quarter. One wonders what other natural disasters Davina caused. Along with Louisiana Cajuns mentions of Katrina are also missing from this show and both are very important to New Orleans as a whole.

Hayley’s going to be honest? Nope. Too late. We about to meet Elijah’s Old Lady. (Old in more ways than one.)

Also a great parental figure? Rebekah. (Hint, hint Klaus.)

Anyone notices Klaus says witches weird? He says it like ‘wit-ches’ almost every time.

Hayley, we were rooting for you! How could you do this?! Elijah was wearing a t-shirt last episode! How could you betray him?!

It’s about time. Hayley’s going to betray Elijah. It’s going to hurt. She’s hormonal, DON’T GET MAD, ELIJAH. DON’T BE KLAUS. Hayley cares a lot, this is the most emotion we’ve seen from you this whole season.

How cute Hayley thought bones were just bones. Have we been watching the same show?

Elijah handles this well. He’s hurt, but he’s not violent. Well done, actor who I haven’t even looked at your name before.

Shut. Up. SOPHIE.

SOPHIE I HATE YOU. Mostly because I can only like one ethnically ambiguous female character. I’m a network TV executive.

Poor Elijah, literally everyone knows his crappy relationship history.

Sophie, even the crazy witch bitches think you’re going crazy MAYBE REEVALUATE. Just mourn your niece like a normal human.

It’s super funny to me when everyone kind of just ignores Davina’s witchy outbursts while Sophie freaks out.

The vampires are buying Sophie’s story that Davina is going to cause the end of the world because the four elements earth, wind, water, and fire are flowing through her. This is confirmed when Rebekah tries to subdue her and there’s hurricane like wings coming down the quarter.

Mama Bekah and Papa Klaus batten down the hatches.

But big brothers Marcel and Elijah are a little harder to sway. 

Marcel is the only one who thinks Sophie could be lying. I don’t trust Sophie either but I…I don’t even know. She obviously has her own agenda.

So are we blaming Katrina on Davina? (Also, anyone else think it’s weird Katrina hasn’t been mentioned? Have I just missed it? I don’t want to be insensitive, but it’s like a big deal. It changed a lot of life down there, way of living, social class.)

A couple thousand years and Elijah is the only who learned any common sense.

Elijah: Not a people person, are you Niklaus?

Klaus: Nonesense. I love people.

– was I not just talking about this? #thestruggle

Klaus apparently thinks he loves people. He loves people the way I love Sophie.

THAT IS ONE COLD SHOULDER, this is the one time to remind people they should be nice to the pregnant girl, you should use your power for good!

Elijah gives Hayley the cold shoulder and I agree with Elijah. Girl, you listened to stupid Sophie. It’s on you.

Rebekah continues her play for power by living out the phrase, ‘Enemy of my enemy is my friend.’ But also I really don’t like this pairing because Sophie is the worst.

Rebekah wants Sophie on her side for the power play. Why? I have no idea.

Apparently Rebekah isn’t enough to sway Marcel away from Klaus but his big brother feelings for Davina are.

Marcel carrying Davina out of harms way like a good big brother aw! As mentioned previously I love it when people get carried. I just think it’s sweet for some reason.

Elijah has hard core flashbacks while looking at his dead lover’s bones WOW it must be weird to be an Original. Elijah’s quote about love and power this is deep but I accept it.

Elijah having a heart to heart with Sabine who sort of if you squint resembles Celeste. INTERESTING.

Klaus and Rebekah snark over Marcel’s betrayal.

Guys, obviously Davina’s in a church. She’s got to go full metal Witch on us nowhere will work but the church!

Hayley’s doing her thing. Being pregnant and crying. Is Klaus going to be a decent person to his baby mama? He is! I don’t know if I ship them, but I sure do want them to be grudging friends. It’s important.

I just said “aww klaus!” Am I on crack? What is wrong with me?!

Marcel is killing it with the feels department. Accepting that maybe he was a little too gun happy with Davina’s power. AND APOLOGIZE.

Davina and Marcel and their sibling vibes. They are super sweet, except I’m not sure if one is manipulating the other.

Hayley kind of makes Klaus a better person. Well, that and his werewolf family. But he takes a moment out of the day to tell Hayley how to be in a relationship with Elijah and it’s basically ‘don’t be me’ and I get it, Klaus. You know you can’t be what the other person needs.

So Klaus is keeping the Wolfies safe! I just said Aww Klaus again. Someone slap me.

“Elijah is accomplished in many things but he is a master of forgiveness.” – Klaus being aww worthy for the third time.

So Celeste’s bones are not working. Elijah has this great idea to use their moms. Klaus is like OMG I LOVE THIS IDEA!!! Rebekah is like NO. Elijah is like GUYS, come on! They are going to do it anyway. This is going to be a bad idea.

YOUR MOTHER. I typed those words as Elijah said it. His plans to consecrate their dead witch mom is, like, REALLY impressive. And I’m not the only one who thinks so. Klaus’ cheshire cat smile is back.

Also Klaus has his dead mom as a commemorative trophy in his basement. Norman Bates much?

Rebekah is off visiting her boo Thierry who is having none of it. He ends up doing as Rebekah says anyway cause Rebekah is Rebekah.

This is more of an aside for the future, but is Rebekah going to fall for Newsie?

OMG I’m having PTSD from my weekend of horror watching the state of Davina is this episode.

Davina’s talking about her first wet dream and Marcel’s like ‘I really shouldn’t be here for this.’

I’ve been on board with the Priest this whole time but him standing and consecrating in the rain is the creepiest he’s been this whole season. 

So they have consecrated Esther’s bones. I’m scared.

Also a shock, Klaus in a hood. Surprisingly, I’m about it.

Does this blood oath make Hayley part of the family now or is she still a walking incubator?

Oh how cute, they kept the not at all festering bodies of the dead baby witches. I was eating and now I can’t even look at food.

OMG no! The dead baby witches! (Editor’s Note: This is how in sync Diane and I are. We both call them the same thing.)

Baby girl, you’re only sixteen. Calm it down with the inspirational death music.

Oop, we got fire. STAGE 4 FIRE, ERRYBODY

I like that it’s all been such a crazy time that we’ve ignored Celeste’s bones don’t have her witch juice anymore. That’s going to be the second half of the season, everyone.

Marcel talking about how he failed Davina. I’m starting cry. They are going to sacrifice her. He truly does love and care for her and vice versa. I am in love  with the theme of family on this show, blood relation or surrogate.

I DO NOT LIKE THAT DAVINA’S THROAT WAS SLIT. DO. NOT. 

Davina gets her throat slashed and I am now bawling. I know from promos she’s around in season 2 so clearly her destiny is great despite the fact Sophie can’t resurrect them.

Doesn’t look like Ms. Sophie’s plans are working. Mourning has occurred. And Marcel won’t forgive them. Klaus sneaks away, maybe  to talk to his Bat-Ward? Oh, no, we’re going to finally face everything. Face those feelings. Klaus let’s him cry and says he’s sorry. Hello character development. What is this rain on my face?

Marcel is an emotional wreck and he blames Klaus for all of it, his little sister is gone. Then Klaus and Marcel hug it out and Marcel finally calms down. Klaus explains to him that he thought he was dead and he was absolutely broke inside. I am broken inside by these two. Hard to Find by The National is also an emotionally jarring song so it’s not helping contain the feels. 

I couldn’t blog through any of the Hayley and Elijah scene because I’m still all tears over the Klaus and Marcel scene and Elijah just made me shed the tears more with his talk of love and honoring love. But Hayley has a point. These OG vampires have a hard time with the here and now. They’ve lived through so much. As have many of us in our twenties. But why give up the living for the sake of the dead?

Hayley and Elijah almost kiss but he can’t just let it go. Oh WHY IS THIS EPISODE CAUSES ME TO EXPLODE.

AND THEN WE HAVE SUCH CLOSE BREATHING THAT I DID NOT BREATHE. Elijah looks so broken in that moment. Which is kind of the point of love, isn’t it? Don’t worry, I’m rewatching.

More thoughts after watching it a second time:

1. 1. This whole episode is how we need to say sorry more and I can get behind that. We need to acknowledge pain (not that I’m any good at that.)
2. 2. That’s the thing that will get Elijah. An apology. (If that’s always his reaction when someone apologizes, I can see why Klaus doesn’t say it more often. He draws the line at ONE sibling.)
3. 3. Hayley looks cross eyed for most of those shots.

I’m still not entirely sure why Elijah likes her though. Because she’s a mom? She’s family? I literally got nothing, she’s not like any other chick Elijah’s known to mack on.

Time for some Klaus and Rebekah time. Because we were low on our incest quota.

Oh a Rebekah and Klaus scene. The emotions in this episode were so chaste and beautiful we needed #incest

Oh, wait. Where DID the power of the dead babies go?! Sophie? I recognize those nails, girl. Who’s wondering through the cemetery? Oh, nope, wrong nails. It’s crazy Witch Bitch. Who’d you raise, Crazy? I hope you’re happy that you killed all those kids. The OGs are going to come for you hard. OMG CELESTE. SHE’S BEEN CRAZY WITCH BITCH THIS WHOLE TIME?!

So Sabine is rising the dead? I love If I Had A Heart by Fever Ray and it always makes me want to watch Vikings but I digress. Sabine has all the power now, but she isn’t Sabine. Remember how I said she reminds me of Celeste? CAUSE SHE IS CELESTE. I loved that ending.

Raise your hands if you saw it coming? No one? That’s about right. Though, in retrospect, we should have. This is a network show. We can’t have more than one “ethnic person”, they’ve got to share rolls.

This episode is probably the strongest of the series thus far. The emotional tone was beautifully done and macabre ending added a great shock factor. I’m ready for this show to go the distance now.

Episode 12 – Dance Back from the Grave

Roommate is in the same room as me, hopefully I will be able to record her thoughts as we journey in to episode 12 (and technically the halfway mark for this season!) Oh, I forgot that the last episode has Elijah tell all about his undying love for Celeste TO CELESTE.

The episode starts with two girls walking in what appears to be a graveyard in the dark. Excuse me for having Buffy Flashbacks.

The girls are Sabine aka Celeste or as I call her now Sableste and the red headed girl she brought back in the previous episode whose name I don’t think we learned yet.

We just had a weird flashback, using a tombstone to signify going back to the flashback time of undulating with dancing? Oh and snake handlers! This is basically a Pentecostal church gathering. (Side note, I actually really loved the tombstone time jump. Brilliant.)

Already I can tell this is going to be a witch episode and I don’t mind at all. Sableste recalls the time they first encountered Papa Tunde who I am going to assume is a play on Papa Legba. If you don’t know who he is look him up, or watch AHS: Coven, which ever.

We just burned a snake alive. I’m not a huge fan of snakes but even I’m not on board with this weird ritual. Snake burning guy seems hella pushy.

Papa Tunde warns the witches of how crappy the people in charge are and that he is now going to assume control. Okay. Why not? Go burn your snakes and control us.

Klaus is in an old time bowtie. Calm down there, Matt Smith.

Omg flash back Klaus in a bow tie. That just seems appropriate.

What is Elijah doing with the crime bosses? Oh, they’re werewolves. I’m impressed with his (mostly) moral approach to calm both the wolves and the crime.

Papa Tunde has a really long ass name no one can pronounce. I wonder if he calls himself big papa?

“How will this benefit the witches?” Hopefully by killing them all.

Oh Papa Tunde is a pimp. Bringing the head of the mayor in a box.

I like how this is supposed to be a Celeste flashback but all we’re doing is following this punk in a white suit who doesn’t seem to be aware he’s threatening Originals, good luck bro.

Thierry gets his pardon and his Newsie cap prize.

Oh thank heavens, it’s not going to be all in the 20s. Bless. And oh hey! Newsie is back! As is the hat THANK GOD.

(Less thankful about that suit, Elijah.)

Lol is this the episode after Klaus banged Caroline in mystic falls? Marcel sure make it seem as such.

Marcel is still torn up about baby Davina, ME TOO, BOO.

Aw Marcel is still heart broken.

Elijah and Rebekah out for an afternoon sibling stroll, as siblings do (things that I’ve never EVER done with my siblings, this family is weird.)

Elijah standing up for Klaus. Oh Elijah, you should be the patron saint of lost causes.

WOW Elijah is being all judgy towards Rebekah while totally believing in Klaus. I don’t blame Rebekah right now. Girl is hurt. MAD hurt. I’m absolutely on Team Rebekah, death to King Klaus.

I can’t go back and forth from watching Supernatural to this, it makes my head hurt. The first thing I saw when the dead vampires in a circle is ‘The Winchester brothers are about!’ Can we have THAT crossover?

Klaus is trying to get Marcel out of his funk but he is having none of it. Instead we get two dead day walkers.

Instead, we have the stupid witch man (warlock?) in a white suit. (And bowtie!)

Remember how I said Rebekah gets a bad rap always? Here’s more proof. 

I have less interest in Klaus’s call to arms with the other vampires. Mainly because I just don’t care. Everyone needs to just get rid of Klaus from their lives. I know we all love him, but man, boo, you a hot mess.

Well big papa is killing vampires. Including Rebecca right now and of course Klaus immediately wants to go in with guns blazing instead of thinking like the old man he is.

GUYS WE WON’T GET SOPHIE FOR THIS EPISODE HALLE. Though I don’t know why we had to sacrifice Davina. What if we just gave the Harvest ancestors Sophie? They probably wouldn’t know the difference.

Cami is ever the kind bartender, no matter what anyone puts her through.

It’s obligatory Elijah and Hayley time! Has Elijah forgive Hayley? Has Hayley developed a better storyline than walking incubator? I never end up blogging through these scenes because I’m super interested in how Elijah reacts to Hayley. I still don’t understand why he’s interested in her but I really like watching him be interested.

“Klaus is a dick and you want to be a good big brother” — Hayley summarizing most of the series.

“Why are you [and everyone] loyal to Klaus?” Cami is all of us.

I love these old timey flashbacks!

Surprise! Rebekah can never stop holding a grudge.

Surprise! Elijah loves to negotiate.

Surprise! Marcel is somewhere in between.

Marcel, it doesn’t matter what decade it is, I will never believe in your love of Rebekah. Meanwhile, Klaus is so proud of his little war son and calls him the prodigal son. Klaus has always wanted to be a father.

I love the word charlatan.

White Suit Guy doesn’t have a white suit on. Do you understand the purpose of a nickname, jerk? There’s a protocol to these blogs.

Cami calls Klaus a two-faced sociopath AND MARCEL STILL DEFENDS KLAUS. I will never understand most of these characters.

Yes. Cami, Klaus is a sociopath. We know.

So, I’m just saying, Celeste and White Suit Guy took Rebekah to hurt Klaus. JUST. SAYING.

Poor Rebekah. Sableste and Big Papa have gotten her and are now using her energy to get to Klaus.

Klaus calling Marcel like a worried Papa.

Ugh. We still have to deal with Sophie. IF DAVINA DIES, WE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO DEAL WITH SOPHIE.

Klaus ringing Sophie’s neck is the best moment thus far…possibly in my emote life. Not that I condone violence, but she’s so…Sophie!

Elijah is having none of Newsie’s crap. Newsie finally reveals where Rebekah is and Elijah goes to save her. And her new bestie, Hayley, is coming with her. (I can’t tell you how happy I was that she volunteered to help Rebekah. I just want Rebekah to have a friend.)

Also featured, close talking.

Thierry actually had a point. Why would he go after a warlock who subdued an original?

We’re back to the flashback and Marcel complaining about Klaus while presenting White Suit Guy with a present of double heads. It’s gross and true to form, Cami voices exactly what we’re thinking.

Big papa is pretty much a warlock Klaus and because  Klaus went after his sons he decides to go after his son, Marcel.

Poor Cami. You are strong as hell, but you’re human! Run girl!

Klaus and Sophie working together? I want to vomit.

Big papa wants to kill Marcel but when klaus shows up he’s like cool I’ll kill you! Which ever one works, right?

Klaus saves his son! We’re really pushing this whole parenting thing hard this episode.

UGH EVERYONE IS WORKING WITH SOPHIE?! Did we forget last episode?

I appreciate that Elijah took the sexiest way possible to get blood from Hayley, taking her arm and biting into it with his teeth. If he were stripping, that’s the only way to make this sexier.

This baby is going to powerful as all heck isn’t it?

Oh hey look it’s the two people Klaus cares for the most under one roof. And he’s jealous. Typical Klaus fashion.

Marcel feeding off Cami is giving me True Blood feels. CAMI IS MINE. No she is mine! And then klaus and Marcel shirtless fight and we are good.

Rebekah’s back in full force and taking it out on Newsie. He’s not trustworthy (shocking!) and then Elijah comes out and tries to shame her for self preservation but thankful Rebekah speaks out for her own happiness. Elijah says everyone makes sacrifices for their family, but what has Niklaus sacrificed?! A goose egg.

And, because of her brokenness, she brings up Hayley. Because that’s what people do when they hurt. They lash out. Rebekah’s a really good depiction of someone abused by family. Not sexual abuse, as much as I joke, but emotional abuse (which often goes undiscussed and therefore undiscovered for a number of years.)

Except Elijah hasn’t chosen love over family Rebekah. He is keeping Hayley at bay, you would have tapped it by now.

Another Marcel and Rebekah scene, another flashback. I’ve tuned out. Will return as soon as something interesting happens. Oh, wait. Hold up, Marcel brought White Suit Guy to town back in the day?! Of course he did it for Rebekah because we are still beating that dead horse. Can’t we bring Matt the High Schooler back from Mystic Falls?

Oh dang, Rebekah’s the reason Papa Mikael the Worst came to town those years ago??? Bekah you better hope nobody finds out. That ain’t good, boo.

So twist! Marcel called Big Papa all those years ago just to get with Rebekah. These two deserve each other. Ugh.

So Rebekah has been playing this game for far too long. Is she really so different from Klaus? Not so sure anymore. These vampires are centuries old and they still act like 5 year olds. I guess time makes you bored.

Elijah has a reflective moment of sad feels that he can’t be with Hayley. Whatever, idjit.

Klaus. Ever the people person. “You used to be against me. Remember how you failed at that?”

Thierry decided a he doesn’t want to hang with Klaus anymore and a bunch of vamps follow suit. See you later Newsie!

Took a whole episode, but we finally figured out the witch power went into four different witches.

Oh man big papa killed all of the prisoner vamps.

I’m attracted to Klaus and Marcel being outsmarted.

So Sabceste is commandeering big papa and now she has a dagger that can harm an original, but one final sacrifice must be made first…

Celeste going to kill White Suit Guy?! Bodies be dropping like flies these last few episodes!

See you later big papa! I hope you liked it when I called you big papa!

Needless to say, we are entertained! See you all next week!