Recently, my internet friend Meghan and I discovered that our favorite TV bad boy is coming back to the silver screen. We could barely contain our excitement until we realized what show he would appear on — The Originals, a spinoff of Vampire Diaries. We’d both watched a couple seasons of the original series (see what I did there?) but had decided not to continue on (because…why?). But our love for Logan Echolls trumps our annoyance of mediocre television, so we’ve decided to watch the show and share our thoughts so we can be fully prepared for the day Jason Dohring graces our weeknights again.  

Your key to understanding our views –

Meghan is in regular font.

Diane is in italics.

 

—-

Meghan: Short intro about my understand of The Originals before we begin – I have none. I didn’t even like the characters when they were on Vampire Diaries, I was promised these big, badasses that were the whole reason Vampires exist and they’re big and bad. And big. And what do we get?

Hormonal adults who think they’re still teens. (It’s The CW, I shouldn’t be surprised.)

My disdain for the characters aside, I only agreed to watch this because Jason Dohring. (Yes, I’m still in high school and in love with the obligatory psychotic jackass with a heart of gold. I have a type, I’m consistent.) And also maybe because I heard that Whiny Asshole (Klaus) has a baby with the love of Pathetic Asshole (Elijah). And for some reason this interests me and makes me hold on to hope despite all evidence for the contrary.

So, with all that being said, let’s begin!

Diane: Must every show have a voice over now? Is this a thing?

 

Ah, Elijah. The most pansies of the Originals family. But I do like the fact that the Originals in Vampire Diaries talk a lot about family. Part of me hopes that this is a Fantastic Four type of show and in this way I have high hopes but I anticipate being so utterly disappointed. I should call it the Fantastic Four Syndrome.

Elijah is my baby daddy. So dibs.

 

Oh right. Rebekah. I forget she’s a part of all this.

Klaus is big on the theatrics isn’t he?

 

Thanks so much for the introduction. Look at all this fancy exposition. Introducing not only the premise but how much the family can’t stand each other.

Also when Rebekah was introducing everyone it sounded like an intro a variety show “I’m Rebekah! I’m Elijah, and introducing our half brother Klaus!!!”

 

And blood. So much blood. Lots of bloody blood blood.

Oh hey, we’re in the present day now. Recapping all the same things that’s happened in the Vampire Diaries. But honestly, Elijah, that’s a lot to share with your bartender. Maybe don’t share all your feels in one fell swoop, you pansy.

Elijah is so dapper in his suit. 😍

 

I do like New Orleans. I want to go to there, the one place in the south I’m actually interested in.

The witches — wait, before that, Niklaus is such a better name than Klaus why can’t we just stick with that?

OK, back to the witches. I always felt like Vampire Diaries couldn’t figure out what to do with them. Like, maybe Bonnie had a crazy shooting schedule for other things…except I never saw her on other things. So. Just, no reason?

 

So Marcel is this leader of a gang of vampires that kills witches? Interesting. Who does he think he is Uther Pendragon?

 

Marcel. Is he a thing I should remember? Is he part of the hybrids? At least Sophie seems pretty cool. Ten bucks says she’s a love interest. Especially since Marcel seems to have some need to exhibit sexual harassment all up in her business.

I love the sibling dynamics already. I’m sure I’ll find something to ship because I always do, but I’m going to find the family portion of this show the most interesting. I can’t feel it.

 

WHY IS REBEKAH HERE NOBODY ASKED YOU. Also, why is Elijah talking to her? Literally, why do they talk to each other at all? “Consider me calling take-backs.” Despite being the oldest (somewhat) living being in history, YOU ARE STILL ACTING LIKE A CHILD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

And Elijah is a BAMF in this. Of course he is. Nothing short of perfect.

 

Elijah is just the least interesting character. Seriously.

Oooop. Sophie is talking to her dead sister. About time we enter…oh wait. Not Klaus. More people not wanting magic and threatening Sophie. But she’s cool so I’m not interested OH HEY THAT’S SOME GUY’S HEART ON THE GROUND.

Every time they call Klaus the hybrid I think he’s a my zipcar, a Toyota Prius named…Klaus.

 

It’s still Elijah…is he the main character? Seriously? He’s the worst! I’d never thought I’d actually want Klaus on my screen but at least he provides stakes.

Phoebe Tonkin is so gorgeous. My heart stopped when she walked on screen and I think Elijah’s did too.

 

 

So Klaus fathered a child with a werewolf woman? That Elijah seems to know? Yup, this is the one he’s in love with. Thought it was going to be Sophie.

From what I remember from Vampire Diaries, the relationship Klaus had with his father is rocky, and I did like that he calls him an abomination. I think it’s very relatable for a lot of people who had shitty relationships with their parents.

 

Elijah, you’d be so much hotter if you didn’t wear a suit all the time. I’ve seen you in jeans and a tee shirt and it’s a jaw dropping sight.

Elijah’s brooding face. Sigh.

 

Story time. If you’ve seen Vampire Diaries before you can skip all this. Full disclosure, I’m photoshopping a pic.

Klaus is like a dead beat dad on Maury, trying every way possible to get out of buying diapers for his baby.

 

“An indiscretion.” Elijah is too proper for me to take him seriously.

“You’re dad was a dick.” Hayley, the pregnant werewolf lady, being on point.

“Kill her and the baby” he says with what appears to be tears in his eyes. Okay, Klaus. Let’s pretend to not care about anything because you’re an ancient rebel. I love the undertone here of men who run away from their kids actually. This show has some depth..okay…okay.

 

 

OMG, this is how we see Klaus? There’s no drama here. Like, we need this brothers rooftop scene sure. But I thought we would at least have some sort of badass present day introduction. Nope. Just him staring off at New Orleans.

I love the scene between Elijah and Klaus about brotherhood and family. The bond between siblings is a great theme here. I’m truly loving that aspect of it. Also the fact Elijah is such a major player here. I thought this show was going to be about Klaus but we don’t even see him until half way in. I’m intrigued…very intrigued, by how much of an ensemble this show is going to be.

 

So Marcel was a former slave. His complex makes sense now, but it also makes him a good “frenemy” for Klaus. They were both chained and owned in different ways. Klaus emotionally by his dad and Marcel emotionally and physically by his masters.  I’m sure we’ll be seeing a flashback or two to those days.

 

OK, Sophie is turning crazy with the whole “clear plan” and “rules” and blackmail nonsense.

“Listen.” Wow. That’s powerful. Both these brothers can hear the heartbeat of the child. That’s…that’s crazy. Literally, they’re both in love with the kid, in their own different ways and this might be my favorite scene in this whole pilot because wow.

Klaus is such a baby. A woobified, sexy baby, but a baby. He’s a billion years old. He needs to man up and take care of his child. I also don’t understand why he hasn’t realized the power play he could have if the kid is really a natural born hybrid. I’m curious to see how this baby arc will play.

 

Klaus is being all whiny. Shocker. Klaus is literally going to start sobbing buckets. Elijah’s like “Cannot thou try to holdest together?” Pep talk about family and I get that they’ve got all this history, ‘We’ve lived a thousand years and all we’ve got is each other’ kind of complex but sometimes you got to cut people off.

I love Elijah and Klaus scenes. I need MOAR.

 

Oh, interesting. Sophie is fascinating again. Even though she cray, she’s linked to Hayley and this is a good stakes situation. Also this will bite all of us on the ass, just so we are on the same page.

Obligatory CW party scene! Haven’t been paying enough attention to tell whether or not this is in the fourth act but I bet good money it is because there is a quota of boozey, drunken feelings CW needs to fill in every show.

I cannot take Marcel seriously because he looks like he’s twelve. That’s the problem with the whole vampire thing.

Klaus has a serious thing against rules. Like bro, you follow the rule of gravity and we don’t see you lashing out at the earth’s center while it tries to control you.

I think Klaus is over estimating Marcel.  I have a feeling the loyalty Klaus assumes Marcel has might not be entirely correct.

 

Elijah and Rebekah having another delightful little heart to heart and Rebekah is having quite enough of her brother, ME TOO GIRL.

Marcel and Elijah are talking but I’m back to playing with the exposure on my picture because ok, Elijah is selling out Klaus, blah blah blah. Despite being all about family, the only consistent thing these siblings have ever demonstrated towards each other is animosity. I think they all liked each other when they were human. But since then they’ve just kind of tolerated each other and it’s not love, it’s that mentality of when you know someone for so long that you just have to stick with them BUT THAT’S UNHEALTHY

Get it Elijah, force your brother to be responsible. He’s not being a pansy now BUT I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU’RE SO INSISTENT TO SAVE YOUR BROTHER.

“You’re beyond pathetic Elijah.” KLAUS AND I AGREE ON THIS

“The first time our father laid a hand on you, I should have struck him dead.” This should have struck me with more emotion but I’ll take it. More of this, please. Show me more tortured, angry Elijah, that is what I want. He can be awesome.

And now Klaus and Elijah are sitting, talking. The bane of a script. Elijah is doing some monologue-y voice over. Elijah’s perpetual self sacrificing is hard to take. He’s just like, “LET ME LOVE YOU WHY CANT I LOVE YOU I HAVE NO OTHER PURPOSE IN LIFE BUT TO MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER.”

I honestly just think if he didn’t wear a suit all the time I would like him more.

There has got to be something more to this story about Haley being an orphan. I wonder if we’ll meet her parents?

 

Hayley proves to be the best character in this whole episode and I’m excited about that. I just wish she had a more interesting love interest than Elijah.

“There must be some reason Marcel and the witches got beef.” That beef is the form of another hot chick named Davina and I cannot tell what her plan is, nor can I tell the difference between her and Sophie.

Poor, dumb Davina, he is playing you! I mean he is very attractive so he can play me like a fiddle too, but I digress.

 

Oh for the love of pete, Klaus stabbed Elijah. Who didn’t see that coming? I’m just saying…it’s so obvious I was hoping that maybe, JUST MAYBE Klaus wouldn’t stab one of his siblings because THAT GETS OLD.

Twist!!! No bring Elijah back or else.

 

And we’re done with the pilot. About what I expected, though I thought we would have a little longer with Elijah. I think it has potential and I do like the depth that exists with all the family dynamics. 1 down, 43 until Jason Dohring!

Over all thoughts: going to keep this short and sweet and say this could be a guilty pleasure. It has the intrigue that vampire diaries had back in its hay day with a little bit more of a soap opera tone to it which is okay by me. I like the family and baby daddy drama, as well as the Marcel and Klaus power plays, along side the witch story line. Marcel and klaus are two weakened men who rose to power and I’m curious to see where this series takes their  story. Needless to say I am currently controlling the urge press play on the next episode.

 

 

EPISODE 2 – House of the Rising Son

Before I begin: I would just like to say Meghan and I are fighting and we only just started blogging this show. First off, this fight is very serious and very real, so real in fact we had to give it its own name; “ElijahGate.” You see I love the dapper, suit wearing, cutie, Elijah and Meghan thinks he’s a pansy douche who should snap out of it and stop acting like a love lorn wimp just  because he’s an ancient vampire. I on the other hand love his devotion to keeping things a float and his reasonable demeanor. Also I don’t care if she doesn’t like Elijah, I’m an optimist and I say, ALL THE MORE FOR ME! So there. That’s my spiel. Elijah Forever! Suck it Meghan!

 

OK guys I’ve got my glasses, my Chipotle and an insane amount of exhaustion-induced snark. I don’t know what’s about to happen but LET’S GET TO IT (said in a Michael Bolton voice from that one Lonely Island song.)

Now on to episode 2 of season 1 House of Rising Son (get it? It’s a play on words..sun…son? Get it! Oh that CW…)

 

I truly don’t know if I want to like the show or I want to just hate watch it. Hopefully this episode will help me form a conclusion, pilots are always so hard. It’s the epitome of a child screaming ‘please someone love me!’ if that child cost millions of dollars and people’s jobs. Oh my goodness, are we going to have a theme song? What would their theme song even be?

Another voice over? This time it’s Marcel and for some reason it’s annoying me… because it’s not Elijah, I say as I stick my tongue out at Meghan. I don’t think we really need exposition on what NoLa is so this voice over is meh.

 

What is with this show and voice overs? You are not Veronica Mars, get it together. Also, the Abattoir? I mean, I get it. I named a character that once. This bar is a very well oiled machine to feed vampires (and obviously very CW friendly), but I still think they’ve got nothing on Vampire Academy.

Marcel thinks he’s cute with his feeding night club… What does he think this is? The Bronze? Is THIS THE NEW HELLMOUTH?

 

Ugh. Rebekah’s back. There really isn’t an Originals sibling that I actually like. Hayley however, she’s the bossest of the bitches. (Also I take back the Rebekah hate only when she’s yelling at Klaus because their mutual hatred is GOLD.)

Should we start a drinking game for every time Hayley mentions this freaking vampire hybrid baby? I mean…I watched the pilot. She’s Klaus’s baby mama. If I have to be told this every episode I might just throw someone thing out a window.

 

 

Oh a flash…Holy crap!!! I’m not sure who has a worse wig. Elijah or Oliver Queen? I’m serious. This thing looks like it was made out of a horses butt hair.

 

Why is past Elijah making out so close to his brother’s menage a trois? BOUNDARIES, my good sir!

Klaus’ weird version of brotherly concern is a little…obsessive. I like that sometimes we see Klaus being a good guy. That’s when he’s interesting. But sometimes they push it too much.

Despite what Beyoncé says Rebekah and Hayley did not wake up like this. Do they have the same hair dresser? Not a hair out of place in the heat. Even Sophie has a perfect pony tail. I always have a random curl on the side and it frizzes. I’m going to stop talking about this because it pisses me off.

 

 

 

 

 

And Hayley’s just sitting on the stairs, watching the whole awkward Klaus and Rebekah fight unfold like ‘what do siblings do again?’

A bunch of people living in NOLA for years and not a single Cajun accent? Do better CW.

 

Rebekah’s accent is the only accent I believe and I don’t know why because they’re all real. But possibly it’s because she uses cute words like “mumsy” and “tum.”

Reminder! Everyone in the family pretends to not care about the baby!

 

OK, we’re talking to Sophie now, right? Not Davina? She must be a bartender though because Rebekah is literally spilling every single sad, expositional feel.

Oh another Flash…ugh Elijah’s shitty wig again. I can’t look at it. Can the CW please get better wigs if they insist on flashbacks? I’d rather everyone be bald than look at Elijah’s head.

 

Marcel, the slave baby from his white master (with an AWFUL accent), is basically adopted by Klaus in a Batman-esque wardship and I’m on board, I love a good ward story. (Also, side note, this is a good parallel, Marcel and future hybrid baby.)

Excellent Flashback to Marcel in his young slave days. Klaus proves there is something hiding under that rough exterior. Spike he is not, but he’s kind of sweet.

 

SO MUCH EXPOSITION.

Klaus and Marcel do coffee and Klaus wingman’s him. It’s all strangely normal.

Marcel shows a glimpse of his business side and it’s not cute.

 

“Looking to kill a wolf?” “Just a little one.” SAD SAD SAD SAD, poor mama wolf.

The more I watch Marcel, the more attractive he becomes WHY (oh. Muscles.)

Rebekah and Marcel. Damn. Just DAMN. (Marcel wasn’t wearing a shirt so…)   But what is this creepy Lanister vibe I’m getting from her and Klaus? Ugh. No.

 

Seems Marcel once had the hots for Rebekah in the past. This is an interesting development—MORE MUSCLES ooo and Klaus is not happy he caught his ward and his sister almost making out. KLAUS, I like this protective thing you’re doing, but seriously why? “Men come and go for Rebekah but I am the constant.” BUT YOU ARE HER BROTHER AND THIS IS NETWORK TELEVISION, NOT GAME OF THRONES

Marcel, you’re a super cool vampire, why are you being dragged into all this relationship drama?

Vampire Diaries reference on Matt and Rebekah…okay.

 

Rebekah when she rips the guys heart out and says “I hate bad manners” is everything I want to do when some asshat messes with me, and I live in NYC so this is pretty much daily. For every beautiful NYC building is 1,000 classless asshats.

 

Klaus is getting all protective MORE OF THIS PLEASE I like him having a plan IT MAKES HIM MORE LIKE BATMAN

OMG KLAUS IS

HE’S LIKE

BATMAN

OMG

I think I suddenly like him more.

This is a game changer.

Klaus is more abusive than Christian Grey right now.

 

Oooo now Klaus wonders why Hayley was in the French Quarter and finds out she tried to get rid of it. MAN he gets upset and I love this AND NOW REBEKAH MIGHT ACTUALLY GET THROUGH TO HIM THERE ARE TEARS ALMOST

Annndddddd Hayley gets choked and her hair stays in one place. Okay. Sure. I know she’s a werewolf but is her hair magical too?

 

Rebekah as numb to her emotions because of Klaus and this makes a LOT of sense to me. I can be on board with this. Actually it explains a lot of what I have never liked about Rebekah.

Regardless, their relationship is still a little incest-y.

Hayley, as someone who has a brother I can tell you plenty of times I feel like I hate him when he pisses me off  but I love him more than anything. That’s how sibling relationships work. So asking Rebekah how she can both love and hate Klaus at the same time is the dumbest thing I heard all day and again, I live in NYC.

 

Klaus, the family member you have to walk around on eggshells for.

Dammit Rebekah, you’re ruining the whole plan COME ON

Rebekah and Marcel are so damn hot. I knew a ship would suck me in. I KNEW IT. Now I want them to get it on. Hot and sweaty and in Victorian garb.

 

So we’re finally meeting Davina. She’s a crazy witch lady it seems. Reminds me a little of Drusilla from Buffy.

So Davina is some über witch who lays the smack down on all. I wasn’t sure I could ever tell her apart from Sophie except now I realized she was in that Disney Movie Starstruck! Not that I’ve ever seen it…I mean…um…what?

 

Wow Marcel is a jackass. Klaus really did teach him everything.

I can ship Klaus and Hayley…minus the choke holds. But Klaus is Klaus and he’s a violent beast and I get that.

 

Klaus watching Hayley sleep ARE WE FINALLY GOING TO SEE THEM INTERACT? I don’t think I’m shipping them, but I want to ship them. “I’m beginning to think we’re a lot alike.” This bodes well.

 

I realized Hayley is just here to be a pregnant exposition werewolf, so for now I will refer to her as such.

 

I don’t think I understand Klaus’ motivation. Why does he want things?

Oh, interesting. Rebekah was part of Klaus’ plan.

Davina wipes Rebekah’s memory of her location because it’s convenient. We can’t put a stop to Davina right away. Gotta wait until AT LEAST mid season!

 

THIS SKETCHY WITCH LADY COULD DO SOMETHING TO ELIJAH THE STAKES ARE HIGH

“Our home is WORTHLESS without family!” And Rebekah and Klaus are on the same team and I like what they’re going for, rescuing Elijah.

And Marcel plans to kill an Original, exactly what you would think would be the big bad plan for a first season.

Oh snap. Marcel wants to kill my boo! Davina has some serious hate for vamps and apparently her own kind considering Marcel is killing them too. I wonder what her deal is.

 

End of episode two where KLAUS IS BATMAN AND I’M WARMING UP TO THIS WHOLE IDEA. 42 episodes until Jason Dohring!

This episode was actually a lot better than the pilot. I like the new dynamics we saw here between Rebekah and Marcel, Marcel and Davina, and the genesis of Klaus and Marcel’s relationship. The most important character to come out of all of this, I feel, is Davina. After a bare glimpse of her in the pilot she appears for a good five minutes in this episode and gave me the chills each and every time. She’s something powerful for sure. I’m guessing the supreme witch, but she’s got more dimensions I’m intrigued to explore. #TeamDavina.

 

Also, give me something to ship and I’m sold. Marcel and Rebekah are hella hot, and I’m curious who this other chick is but I know Klaus and his sis are going to use it to their advantage when they make the power play. Weakest link was definitely Hayley. She served as a plot device and not a character. I hope this changes in future episodes as she is definitely a character that could become more developed.