Episode 7 – Chasing the Devil’s Tail

Babies! And Klaus watches over Elijah, he has to help his brother after years of his brother protecting him.

There is nothing I love more than KlauLijah on my morning commute to a long day at work.

Klaus falls into Hayley, furthering my desire to see them be close. Also they’re standing so close. And Klaus cares, doesn’t want Haley to go see Mama Mikaelson!

Hayley and Klaus have more chemistry when they STAND NEXT TO EACH OTHER than when she and Jackson are supposed to have romantic moments. I get that Julie Plec didn’t want to mimic The OG’s predecessor, The Vamp D’s too much, but where there is a road of actor chemistry you hop on it and you ride it until the road ends or forks. Why you do, Julie? WHY YOU DO???  (Editor’s Note: Apparently it’s in the brothers’ contracts that there would be no love triangles allowed but why would you ruin this for the people? It’s not OUR fault you guys have chemistry! Thanks @TrueLoveBandB for the 411!)

Hayley is possibly the best daughter-in-law Esther could have asked for.

JAX WOLF IS DEAD AND WE “MOURN” HIM LIKE…wait, like a viking? Meanwhile there’s a bluegrass song which is how you know we’re supposed to be sad.

Jax Wolf also sort of looks like he is the brother of Charlie Hunnam and Travis Fimmel of Vikings so I guess this funeral is acceptable. I don’t give a rats ass about his send off, but that’s another story.

I still want Cami and Hayley to be best friends why can’t I have that.

Oh right! Cami. She’s still on this show.

Flirty and forward Cami makes me uncomfortable.

Does Davina make Kol a better man? Yes. Yes she does. I like this. I ship this AND YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO HIT ME IN THE HEAD WITH IT SHOW, I did it freely!

Kol and Davina are working for me. One of them’s going to die, right? I miss Josh, though. ::uses Thor voice:: BRING ME JOSH!!

Daddy Wolf is trying to love on Klaus who is trying to love on Elijah and really everything has turned on it’s head.

Threesome incest love between Klaus, Papa Wolf, and Elijah. Papa Wolf is like Klaus, let me love you. Klaus is like, Elijah let me love you! And Elijah is like..guys I spent like two episodes sexily chained. Can you give me a break? But group hugs later!!!

It’s weird seeing Klaus with a supposedly caring father. This can’t last.

Papa Wolf has to have something up his sleeve. The rule of this show is that Klaus is not allowed to have nice things. Papa Wolf stepping to the plate can’t be real.

More bonding between Kol and Davina AND we get to learn a little bit about Kol and what makes him tick? Yes please.

Kol is easily one of my favorite brothers because of how he is with Davina. Davina is the female Klaus, she can’t have nice things so I’m scared now. Sorry, Meghan. Love you!

Baby Josh! He’s here, as is his wolf lover boy who is super impressed with his clever, funny lines.

I said Josh’s name and he appeared! Squee! Oh and he’s with his wolf lover, also squee. Hey remember when I said I wanted a wolf and vamp love story in a blog in season 1? It happened! Looks like the writers listened to my opinion when they looked into the future and saw me typing it.

Cami calms Hayley’s bloodlust with her logic. But can you guys be besties?

This show is trying to pass the Bechdel test which works for me but can we have more with Cami and Hayley? She’s the only thing keeping relevant right now. Let’s keep it going.

This Daddy Wolf is not as good an actor as Klaus. Except this moment with his father telling him that he’s a good man, or at least a normal man. We don’t have Elijah in this episode to plead for Klaus’ soul so that job falls on Daddy Wolf.

Klaus doesn’t know how to accept love so he fights back with his failures. We are all Klaus at some point in life.

Sometimes I feel like this is the story to Inside Out. Klaus is depression and Elijah is love. I feel so bad for poor, murderous Klaus. He just wants love, but is it too late?

Kol returns to his mother because she sent him a message by instant tattoos. Was that really necessary? You guys had carrier pigeons back in the day…

Love means tattooing your son to summon him.

These Georgian forests are loud.

Daddy Wolf is starting to lose his patience. Uses Elijah to guilt Klaus into letting him help.

Can we call the Scooby gang? We lift papa wolfs mask to discover…ELIJAH! Okay, no? Because that’s how papa wolf is acting right now. Like Elijah pleading for Klaus to realize he is capable of warm feelings and sunshine.

I can’t figure out if Kol is playing Davina or not.

If Kol is playing Davina I want her to set him on fire. Davina needs to stop being manipulated by these fools.

This secret witch chamber is very steampunk. Victor Frankenstein fingerprints are literally everywhere.

They totally stole this set from Penny Dreadful, right?

Kol and Davina scheme to put Klaus in a box.

Davina, how many of your Klaus schemes have actually worked? OH THAT’S RIGHT!!  None.

Raucous Jazz Time!

Cami’s date with Finn means she pries into his parents and it’s interesting to see what the only loyal sibling has to say about his mama.

Why is Finn so damn loyal to Esther? He is just like Elijah. Always wanting to love what can’t truly love him back.

That was some Buffy style monster violence in an alley.

Daddy Wolf is dangerous. He knows Hope is alive and Klaus is going to kill him for that knowledge, I just know it.

Papa Wolf is going to die. I know it. For some reason I really wanted him to be played by JR Bourne. Fun Fact: JR Bourne once told me to jokingly shut up after he asked me a question. It was hilarious. Also, if he were played by him he could have a scene with Kol and it would have been a mini teen wolf reunion.

Josh’s Flirt Game is ON.

I’m not a gay man but I would totally date Josh.

We’ve got a weird science lesson going on in the Steampunk Lab with traces of supernatural.

There was a make out option? DAVINA, chose the make out option!

Yes. The make out option sounds ideal.

I still don’t trust Kol.

Having a father is all Klaus ever wanted, but he loves his little girl more. I totally called that he needs to kill his father in order to keep her safe. GREAT stakes. He truly has given up everything for his daughter. Klaus is a wonderful father.

POOR BABY WOOBY KLAUS UGH

Woobification of Klaus Mikaelson is at 99% we are almost complete. He’s ready to kill his dad to save Hope. Klaus, keep going with the character progression. COME ON.

Kol has got some SOLID moves.

Uh oh. Finn is not as hard to fool as we thought. I guess being a mama’s boy doesn’t make you an idiot.

“Want to talk about following? How do your mother’s boots taste?” SOLID BURN HAYLEY.

Hayley for the win on Finn. Oh man that rhymed.

But I’m a little worried, did we kill Josh? He’s not dead right? RIGHT?!

Josh can’t be dead. He actually serves a purpose on this show full of abusive vampires and hybrids.

Oh hay Hubby Wolf. Great, you saved the day. Ugh.

I don’t care if Hubby Wolf saved the day. He’s still a whiny pain in the side.

Klaus is healing Elijah, and his speech to Elijah…this is perfection. “Without you by my side, I don’t think I can survive my own love for my daughter.”

Klaus is healing his big brother and giving him a cute speech about how he needs him to protect his daughter from his treachery. It’s sweet.

“The monster in me can only be checked by the monster in you.”

I’m sniffling on the train. My fellow cold hearted New Yorkers are not pleased with me judging by the side eyes glances.

Klaus needs his big brother so much.

JOSH IS OK GUYS EVERYTHING IS OK

Oh thank The Lord. Josh is alive.

Ughhhhh Hubby Wolf, you’re in love with a manic pixie dream girl. Don’t put this on Hayley, she’s not your endgame.

Hubby wolf, stop wanting Hayley to be something she can never be. She is who she is and Elijah loves her for all she is. Not because his mother promised her to him.

ELIJAH IS AWAKE I’ve missed you, boo.

ELIJAH. Is. ALIVE!!! And for once Klaus saves him instead of trying to kill him. Awwwwww!

And it’s a good thing too, Klaus needs to talk to his big brother. Klaus mourns who he could have been, mourns the healthy childhood that was stolen from him.

Elijah, give your little brother a hug.

“I could never forgive myself if anything happened to her because of my selfish desire for a father.” Klaus, you already know what you need to be a good father. You know sacrifice. You have sacrificed for your daughter and that makes you the best father on the show.

Why is it that Klaus, the biggest psycho on this show? Because he is easily the most relatable character on this show. What does this say about me? About others who can relate to Klaus’s internal turmoil. It’s so sad.

Kol, you gonna take that dagger from your pretty sweetie? OH Marcel sees you! Things ain’t gonna go well.

Oh great, Kol is manipulating Davina. Can’t we leave Davina alone for an episode?

Elijah is having a hard time. He remembers killing Not Elena.

Elijah, boo, you’ll be ok.

Did Kol take the dagger or did Marcel? $10 it was Marcel to manipulate Davina because that’s all these people know how to do.

If Marcel is fucking Davina I will end him.

Esther, all pissy because her lover wolf boy died, comes after Cami oh no…? Meh.

I am over Esther. Bring on the next big bad.

Presents for Klaus and Elijah…your OTHER brothers!

Oh no.

Episode 8 – The Brothers That Care Forgot

These previously ons make a good point – why does everyone like Cami? Like…she’s cool. But why y’all all about that O’Connell honey?

Cami is the Elena of this show. Everyone wants her. Maybe she’s a doppelgänger? Too! Nah.

Aunt Bex plays with baby Hope and these are the moments I live for, more baby shots please.

Elijah gets dark with the attempt at changing Finn and Kol’s loyalties.

Kol and Finn don’t trust their brothers which I can’t blame them. But of the five, apparently Rebekah is going to be the tie breaker. I can only imagine what it was like when they were little. ALSO BECAUSE SHE IS THE ONLY GIRL THAT LIVED that’s no pressure or anything…

Seems Esther has found Rebekah and baby Hope. And Finn gets under Elijah’s skin.

Ugh Esther. GTFO.

Klaus is the one who is schooling Elijah and calming him down. I’m not the only one finding this weird. So Klaus is an adult and I love all this. Sacrificing and being all father-y WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME I LOVE THIS KLAUS.

Klaus has these great adult moments when he wakes up and becomes an actual person.

Ugh and we’re back to the wolf storyline. I just…unless there are teens involved in these wolf stories, I’m not interested. (Really, unless there’s a Stiles anywhere involved.)

Over the wolves.

We get it, Hubby Wolf, you’re all manner of sad so you drink. Hayley, you deserve more than this loser.

Speaking of being over wolves, Hubby Wolf is the most annoying one. Go away.

Despite Marcel trying to be all big brother-y, he still sticks with Klaus over Davina. This ain’t gonna go well.

Can Davina please find an ally that isn’t trying to get her killed or using her for their own gain? I mean…really. REALLY.

“Klaus has had a thousand years to kill [Kol] and he hasn’t.” This is the most honest we’ve been about Klaus. Can’t we remember this?

Can we please remember Klaus is also a sentimental weirdo? He kills his family and is like, nah I will not burry you! I will keep you in my basement. Okay Klaus.

Marcel’s got a weird grin on his face. Oh, because he’s going to get some jollies off in bondage tormenting the other brothers.

At least Marcel’s story line is getting slightly more interesting. The last season and these past few episodes were a bust.

Kol tries to bargain his way out of torture with Marcel, oh please.

Lol Kol, Marcel needs something to do and you just happen to be around. It’s all good.

Davina rages against the machine but still makes time to have bestie time with Joshy Poo and that’s wonderful.

Whenever Josh and Davina bond I just get so excited because they are legit the only pairing that aren’t supposed to be siblings that really hang out with each other. Hayley and Elijah have been a little preoccupied.

Klaus tortures Finn which is great because Finn is awful so we don’t hate Klaus for torturing the awful character. (And by awful, I mostly mean boring.)

Finn is yawn worthy. Where is Kol? Bring on Kol!

Hubby Wolf, you need to keep your shirt on.

Hubby Wolf can keep his shirt off. It’s cool.

Ah, so the whole ‘getting married for the betterment of the pack’ finally takes on a new meaning that means Hayley should marry Hubby Wolf for power.

It has to be a real marriage. Tap out, Hayley.

Is Hubby Wolf expecting to claim Hayley’s dowry too? What is this crap!

HAYLEY AND CAMI ARE YOU BEST FRIENDING?!

Oh yeah, Cami is still here.

Cami turns on full therapist mode to help Hayley and about time!

Josh brought over his boyfriend for Davina to meet and I want this to be cute, but why do I not trust Davina?

Davina and gay were wolf boyfriend are trying to bond. Josh is so pleased. This is cute.

Davina makes a GREAT wingman is what I’ve learned just now.

Wait, baby witch, what are you doing? What spell?

Whenever someone says spell you just know there’s trouble. This show really hates witches.

Kol gets all angsty, feeling like his family doesn’t care about him. That sucks.

Kol upset his family doesn’t like him…hah! Now people know how Klaus feels.

Klaus is learning a lot about parenting teenagers, seeing how angsty Kol is and realizing he did all this to get attention because of course he did you idiot. He just wants love as much as the rest of you.

Klaus should bond with Kol over how much being hates sucks. They don’t though.

Hayley needs to talk to Elijah because this wedding thing is a big deal.

Oh hell, Elijah is getting all obsessive about being clean. My heart hurts.

My heart hurts for Elijah trying to get clean.

Finn gives an oral retelling of Frozen – I mean Esther and Dalia

Frozen is what Esther’s heart is.

Well, Klaus finally knows about Dalia’s curse. Another thing for him to freak about about over Hope, poor Papa Klaus.

YOU GUYS ELIJAH IS HOLDING BABY HOPE this is my favorite. This is special.

HOPE AND ELIHAH!!!

And Rebekah loves being a single mother. She wishes she could be human and have her own child.

I love Rebekah’s issues with her fertility. A lot of women go through so much when they find out they can never conceive. It’s just a sad affair and I love Rebekah going through her own version of it.

Oh no, Elijah, don’t believe Esther.

Esther is made of pure evil.

Something’s wrong with Elijah. Rebekah knows it. Oh. Oh Elijah’s gone crazy. Oh, no, poor Elijah.

Can someone fix Elijah please? OMG.

WOAH Davina got MAD power. What you up to, baby witch?

As predicted, Davina has power up the wazoo. I can’t say I’m not happy for her.

Hubby Wolf, you can’t talk to your pack looking like a rugged mess.

Please stop with hubby wolf’s story line. He should have been gone ages ago. Actually the moment he said they were betrothed. Yes, I know the exact moment.

We finally see Hayley as a wolf!…wait, just kidding. Is it in her contract that she can’t be ugly?

Hayley has to look glowing at all time.

Wait Davina isn’t going to be possessed by Dalia, is she?

God, I hope not.

OK Davina, calling Klaus weak maybe wasn’t the best idea. OH you had a different plan. Did you vervain him?

Davina’s like “Klaus is bad, guys!” And everyone’s like DAVINA YOU’RE ONLY SIXTEEN YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING.

DAVINA PLEASE STOP.

So apparently Hayley is acquiescing to marrying Hubby Wolf. Which…kind of sucks for Hubby Wolf.

Boyfriend Wolf is all about that life. He’s possibly my favorite wolf.

Boyfriend Wolf is adorable.

So apparently Esther made Cami a vessel body to jump into FURTHER PUSHING THE INCEST AGENDA

OMG

ESTHER WAS PREPARING CAMI TO BE A VESSEL FOR REBEKAH.

BECAUSE INCEST.

I CAN’T, EVEN MAMA WITCH SHIPS IT.

OMG ALL OF THE INCEST. APPARENTLY ESTHER PREPARED CAMI TO BE A VESSEL FOR BEKS. AGAHAHAHA

Well I guess it’s okay for when Claire has to go and film Aquarius.

Speaking of Rebekah, what are you going to do about crazy Uncle Elijah? Oh, snap his neck. Probably a good call.

Someone fix Eliah, for the love of God.

KOL DON’T YOU CALL KLAUS A BASTARD.

Seriously, Kol! I thought y’all we’re bonding.

Hayley, boo, you’re making some destructive choices, first and foremost being the marrying of wet dog Hubby Wolf.

Crazy Elijah should have killed hubby wolf in a fit of delusion. See I can write my own show!

Klaus wants to have a conversation with Kol, so is he going to tell his younger brother about the birds and the bees?

Klaus and Kol talk about how shitty life is.

It’s time for Kol to deal with his abuse.

Klaus and Hayley road trip to get baby hope. A set up for mid season finales is good for me. Very good.

Klaus is on a mission and it’s HELLA HOT. Marcel’s going to take care of Finn and Hayley and Klaus are going on a parental road trip to see their daughter and THAT WAS ONE HELLUVA ENDING